Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Mister celebrated his birthday last week. There was breakfast in bed, the opening of gifts, a party at the local science center and some tulips I purchased to remember his birthmother. He chose red. His favorite color. I hadn’t decided if I would mention their significance this year, but rather begin a tradition of remembering the beautiful thing she did when she brought this amazing boy into the world.
But then we were having lunch and talking about the flowers and it just seemed right. “Mister, these flowers are for your birthday. We bought them to remember that your birthday is special to someone else too. “ I spoke her name and asked if he remembered who she was.
“Ya, she is in my special book.” He said
“That’s right,” I coaxed. “Do you remember why she is important to our family?”
“I grew in her tummy,” he answered plainly.
“That’s right.” I smiled. “And the day you were born was special to her, too. Since she can’t be here with us, we have flowers to remember.”
“If I use my imagination I can see her sitting right there,” Sis offered as entry to the conversation.
“Wow, Sis. That’s neat. What is she doing?” I asked.
“She is just sitting there. Not moving. She doesn’t say anything.” She answered.
“Interesting. Mister, what do you think she would say if she was with us today?” I asked.
Without hesitation he looked at me, raised his eyebrows and quickly sucked in his breath, just the way his mother had in the few moments when we sat together looking at pictures of our son. It caught me off guard. “That’s what she would say,” he repeated. Time stopped as I looked at his face and tried to understand the depth of what he was communicating to me. “She would say that about the cupcakes”. Cupcakes were the highlight of his birthday. He was pretty sure they would be the first things she noticed.
It was sacred space. Maybe deep down he remembers her voice, her expression. Or maybe he drew from his biology and experiences a response to fit the moment. Either way, for a blink, she was with us. On his special day. And I was grateful.